Tonight Skyler had a tummy ache. Gosh those are hard. Not because the crying is annoying and I can’t get anything done, but because I hate to see Skyler hurting. She looks in my eyes as she cries and looks so scared and it’s like she is asking “Mommy, why can’t you make the pain go away?!?!” It kills me and makes me want to cry with her. It’s also the only time in life that I’m praying for farts, because as soon as she starts farting, she starts to calm down and feel better.
Times like that I find myself actually thanking God. Even during those hard times, I just thank God that I am where I am, taking care of my wonderful baby girl. I never asked for this, but being given this gift of love for her and the patience and care to get through the harder times, has got to be one of the best gifts I could ever have been given. How could I, someone who never cared much for kids or wanted any of their own, be so calm and comforting for this baby? It’s truly a mystery from above, and what a wonderful gift!
When she finally fell asleep on my chest, a few tears of my own fell down and I was overwhelmed (yet again) with emotion for this little girl. I’m still in disbelief that she is here, and in disbelief of how wonderful it is to be her mother. Bedtime is sad for me, because I don’t want to put her down! But then what a way to begin a day, all over again, by going to her crib in the morning to have her greet me with that smile! I’m not one to brag, but when I see that smile, I truly believe I live a life to be envied!