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Love is a Battlefield

November 12, 2009

(For the record, I am not a fan of the Jordan Sparks pop song that has a similar name to the title of this post.)

It seems like our home these days is one big warzone, between Skyler and me. And by these days, I guess realistically it’s only been the last two or three days, but it FEELS like so much sufferingly longer than that in my head!

The ol’ Terrible Twos are apparently crashing down on us hard right now, and I really hope it doesn’t last as long as she is going to be “two,” because if so, I might just ship her off to her grandma’s until September 11th next year, and at that point we’ll negotiate a new contract if her attitude is not up to my standards. Grandma’s is the only place she wants to be anyways, what with the all out tearful tantrum that takes place when I pick her from there on Monday’s. And though it’s not quite as dramatic, I get a similar display of love when I go to pick her up from daycare each day after work. As soon as she sees me she runs away, whining “No! Noooo! Noooooo!” You would think we beat and tortured her at home or something.

And all the little things, like putting her shoes and coat on in the morning, listening to music in the car, or changing a diaper – she resists me with full force, thrashing and screaming in opposition to whatever it is I need her to do or not do. Even the things that she is trying to do herself, if they don’t go smoothly, or she drops something, or has trouble with any of her coordination efforts or skill, she reacts so impatiently and violently, I wonder where this is coming from?

It is an incredibly trying and irritating way to start and end my day. And to be honest, right now, my work is my haven, which is the opposite of the way things should be. But it’s a place where I’m in control, things usually go well, I’m surrounded by generally sane and capable people, and I have the support I need when conflict arises. The complete opposite of my life with a two-year-old.

I know a few people who are expecting their first little ones over the next few months, and I am so excited for them. And I’m jealous. Those seem like the good ol’ days; the surreal life with a newborn baby that isn’t trying to sabotage your every effort to keep them safe, healthy, and happy. But don’t get any ideas. Jealousy of people with newborns has nothing to do with baby fever. Because adorable little babies eventually become TWO YEAR OLD MONSTERS. And who knows what they turn into after THAT?!?!

(Skyler – if you are reading this someday, do know that I love you dearly and wouldn’t change this life for a second if it meant you weren’t in it. But do know you are severely close to ruining any chance that I’ll help sneak you out of the house when you are sixteen and want to go on that first date but your mean daddy won’t let you out of his site. Be good to your mommy, I can be a great asset to you later if you don’t burn all the bridges by the time you’re THREE.)

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. November 12, 2009 5:48 pm

    HAHAHA I love the note to Skyler. It is so hard when they start FIGHTING you for their independence. They defy you at every turn simply because they’ve discovered they CAN. I wish you strength and patience because from what I have heard and witnessed, it should really be called the Terrible Threes.

  2. Jesse permalink
    November 12, 2009 7:30 pm

    I think terrible two’s last from 1 1/2 to 3. But they get soooo much easier……..i hope

  3. Sheri permalink
    November 12, 2009 8:02 pm

    Three things…..

    1) I laughed out loud when you described your co-workers as “generally sane”….as if not “completely”.

    2) I’m glad the automatic blog post thing at the end of your article recognized that “Love is a Battlefield” is a Pat Benatar song…not Jordan Sparks….geez!

    3) Just wait until your hubby reads your note to Skyler – YOU will be the one he won’t let out of his sight when the time comes. Hilarious.

  4. November 12, 2009 9:52 pm

    Sheri – I thought “Love is a Battlefield” was probably originally from the ’80s (couldn’t recall exactly who), and I actually LIKE that one! Just wanted to make it clear that I wasn’t referencing that newer awful song. I’m glad you “got it.” =)

  5. Gramma Kewwey permalink
    November 13, 2009 1:39 pm

    I vividly remember having a tremendous battle with a 2 year old little girl about 28 years ago. She was a headstrong little thing that resisted us (mostly with attitude) at every turn. How could a cute little thing be so MEAN!!??!! We had one day that will be imprinted on our minds forever–a day filled with tears from both parent and child over who was going to win. I think for the most part, we came to an understanding that day. Painful on both our parts, your bottom and our hearts!

    I have often thought about all that Skyler went through and how close we came to losing her. But by God’s grace and Him giving her a strong spirit, she survived. So, being strongwilled won’t always be a bad thing. The good side of it will be an independent mind that may stand up to peer pressure, a spirit that clings to right instead of being pulled to what’s wrong. A drive to keep at something when others would quit.

    We’ll try and work on things here, I know it feels like you are not wanted. But believe me, she loves her mommy very much and talks about her many times during those Mondays.

    And by the way, I still have those books on how to survive a strong-willed child if you want them! They are pretty worn out but may give some hope. 🙂

  6. Maria permalink
    November 13, 2009 8:29 pm

    You make me laugh Lori. What you write often hits what I am thinking on the nose. Especially in the battles with a two year old! The note to Skyler: Haha! Prime! I can see Ronnie scolding both of you in a corner. You at age 44 and Skyler at age 16! And something just hit me like a ton of bricks. I will be going through my midlife crisis while my teenage son and daughter will dubiously be going through there crisis rebellious years!

  7. Beth permalink
    November 21, 2009 5:27 pm

    Two, not a problem, three sucked far more. Four has been great! Yes Sheri, generally sane! I hope I’m lumped into that, for I have never felt even the slightest bit sane. 🙂 Love is a battlefield, lived through it the first time with Pat Benatar http://s0.ilike.com/play#Pat+Benatar:Love+Is+A+Battlefield:40183:m89007 and loved it. Enjoy.

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